Showing posts with label Q4AM Support. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Q4AM Support. Show all posts
Humble
“All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another,
because, 'God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.'” - 1 Peter 5:5b
I'll never forget the first time I discovered what a feeling was. It was in my early forties. "Surely not!" you may be thinking.
Yes, it is true. Since then, I have discovered many men still live in this condition. It took an older mentor to help me understand the difference between information and a feeling. Wives are frustrated because their husbands share information, but not their feelings. They want to know what is going on inside their man. The fact is, most men have not been taught to identify feelings, much less how to share them. It is something that men must learn to do because it is not a natural trait. If they do share their feelings, society often portrays them as weak. No man willingly wants to be portrayed as weak.
In order to become an effective friend and leader, one must learn to be vulnerable with others and develop an ability to share feelings. It is a vital step to becoming a real person with whom others can connect emotionally. This is not easy to do if your parents did not teach you to share your emotional life with others. Emotional vulnerability is especially hard for men. Author Dr. Larry Crabb states,
Men who as boys felt neglected by their dads often remain distant from their own children. The sins of fathers are passed on to children, often through the dynamic of self-protection. It hurts to be neglected, and it creates questions about our value to others. So to avoid feeling the sting of further rejection, we refuse to give that part of ourselves we fear might once again be received with indifference. When our approach to life revolves around discipline, commitment, and knowledge [which the Greek influence teaches us] but runs from feeling the hurt of unmet longings that come from a lack of deeper relationships, then our efforts to love will be marked more by required action than by liberating passion. We will be known as reliable, but not involved. Honest friends will report that they enjoy being with us, but have trouble feeling close. Even our best friends (including spouses) will feel guarded around us, a little tense and vaguely distant. It's not uncommon for Christian leaders to have no real friends.
If this describes you, why not begin on a new journey of opening up your life to others in a way that others can see who you really are? It might be scary at first, but as you grow in this area, you will find new freedom in your life. Then, others will more readily connect with you. [ Source: http://www.christianitytoday.com/workplace/articles/devo-humility.html ]
because, 'God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.'” - 1 Peter 5:5b
I'll never forget the first time I discovered what a feeling was. It was in my early forties. "Surely not!" you may be thinking.
Yes, it is true. Since then, I have discovered many men still live in this condition. It took an older mentor to help me understand the difference between information and a feeling. Wives are frustrated because their husbands share information, but not their feelings. They want to know what is going on inside their man. The fact is, most men have not been taught to identify feelings, much less how to share them. It is something that men must learn to do because it is not a natural trait. If they do share their feelings, society often portrays them as weak. No man willingly wants to be portrayed as weak.In order to become an effective friend and leader, one must learn to be vulnerable with others and develop an ability to share feelings. It is a vital step to becoming a real person with whom others can connect emotionally. This is not easy to do if your parents did not teach you to share your emotional life with others. Emotional vulnerability is especially hard for men. Author Dr. Larry Crabb states,
Men who as boys felt neglected by their dads often remain distant from their own children. The sins of fathers are passed on to children, often through the dynamic of self-protection. It hurts to be neglected, and it creates questions about our value to others. So to avoid feeling the sting of further rejection, we refuse to give that part of ourselves we fear might once again be received with indifference. When our approach to life revolves around discipline, commitment, and knowledge [which the Greek influence teaches us] but runs from feeling the hurt of unmet longings that come from a lack of deeper relationships, then our efforts to love will be marked more by required action than by liberating passion. We will be known as reliable, but not involved. Honest friends will report that they enjoy being with us, but have trouble feeling close. Even our best friends (including spouses) will feel guarded around us, a little tense and vaguely distant. It's not uncommon for Christian leaders to have no real friends.
If this describes you, why not begin on a new journey of opening up your life to others in a way that others can see who you really are? It might be scary at first, but as you grow in this area, you will find new freedom in your life. Then, others will more readily connect with you. [ Source: http://www.christianitytoday.com/workplace/articles/devo-humility.html ]
Your Plan
This is a set of questions that provide an outline for you to write your personal life plan. Use it as a guide, not to write pages of essays, but to plan how you will reject passivity, lead courageously and move towards authentic manhood.
Looking for examples to refer? FIND THEM HERE
Tell a Story
“I believe we benefit greatly from shared experiences. Yet it is the inspirational glows that illuminate from the stories of others that blaze a path to new personal perspectives. Often, it even encourages us to search for a new reality. Our tales of fatherlessness should be heard with seriousness. In addition, the incredible tales of fathers who brighten the lives of their children is owed the same level of merit. We crave to hear them; we even desire to be them.” Being a Man ?
What is your definition of "being a man"?How will you answer this question?
Some interviews were conducted in the streets of Charlotte.
Watch the responses in this video:
Have similar videos to share? Send us the links at the Facebook Group, or tweet a link to us.
Plan [ married > 5 years ]
This Plan Template was compiled by Dennis Koh. Below are two documents for you to select. The second document is provided for you to download if you are using software older than Microsoft Word 2007.
Choose the file that is suitable for your computer:
Choose the file that is suitable for your computer:
Absent Father Wound
Take a look at this video: Cat's in the Cradle
Robert Lewis shared these in "Session 4, Unpacking" :
"I see five common wounds in most men today. Let’s go into our symbolic suitcase, and here’s the first one;
The “Absent Father Wound.” Now when I say “absent father” I mean either a dad who wasn’t there altogether,
or a dad who was there but he wasn’t there.
In the 60’s, I used to hear this wound played out on the radio with a song that went like this.
My son turned 10 just the other day.
He said, ‘thanks for the ball, Dad.
C’mon, let’s play. Can you teach me to throw?’
I said, "not today; I’ve got a lot to do."
And he said, ‘well, that’s okay.’
And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon;
Little Boy Blue and the man in the moon;
‘when you comin’ home, Dad? Make it soon.
"I don’t know when, but we’ll get together then, son.
You know we’ll have a good time then. ..."
Now that was the 60’s.
Now, we’re in the 21st Century and the shrill of sons who have this wound has grown harsher, and shriller.
I listen to a band, called ‘Ever Clear’, write their song about fathers and sons and this generation.
I want you to listen to these words:
Father of mine, tell me, where have you been?
Father of mine, take me back to the day when I was still your golden boy
Back before you went away. I remember blue skies, walking the block,
I loved when you held me high. I loved to hear you talk.
You would take me to the movie; you would take me to the beach
You would take me to a place inside that is now so hard to reach.
Father of mine, tell me, where did you go?
You had the world inside your hand, but you did not seem to know.
Father of mine, tell me, what do you see
When you look back at your wasted life and you don’t see me?
Daddy gave me a name. My dad gave me a name.
Then he walked away. Then he walked away; my dad gave me a name.
I will never be safe; I will never be sane;
I will always be weird inside; I will always be lame.
Daddy gave me a name, and then he walked away.
My dad, he gave me a name, and then he walked away.
My dad gave me a name, and then he walked away. [Click here to watch the video]
And when he walked away, he left a huge wound in my life. A lot of young men have never, ever finished this business with dad. It’s so easy, in the midst of that wound, to either get angry and close the lid on my feelings or pretend this is going to go away. But I want you to know, guys, it doesn’t go away until you deal with it in an appropriate way. Then you can put it to rest so you can go on to live an authentic manhood life. That’s what I mean when I talk about this Father Wound. It is so important in men. ..."
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Robert Lewis shared these in "Session 4, Unpacking" :
"I see five common wounds in most men today. Let’s go into our symbolic suitcase, and here’s the first one;
The “Absent Father Wound.” Now when I say “absent father” I mean either a dad who wasn’t there altogether,
or a dad who was there but he wasn’t there.
In the 60’s, I used to hear this wound played out on the radio with a song that went like this.
My son turned 10 just the other day.
He said, ‘thanks for the ball, Dad.
C’mon, let’s play. Can you teach me to throw?’
I said, "not today; I’ve got a lot to do."
And he said, ‘well, that’s okay.’
And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon;
Little Boy Blue and the man in the moon;
‘when you comin’ home, Dad? Make it soon.
"I don’t know when, but we’ll get together then, son.
You know we’ll have a good time then. ..."
Now that was the 60’s.
Now, we’re in the 21st Century and the shrill of sons who have this wound has grown harsher, and shriller.
I listen to a band, called ‘Ever Clear’, write their song about fathers and sons and this generation.
I want you to listen to these words:
Father of mine, tell me, where have you been?
Father of mine, take me back to the day when I was still your golden boy
Back before you went away. I remember blue skies, walking the block,
I loved when you held me high. I loved to hear you talk.
You would take me to the movie; you would take me to the beach
You would take me to a place inside that is now so hard to reach.
Father of mine, tell me, where did you go?
You had the world inside your hand, but you did not seem to know.
Father of mine, tell me, what do you see
When you look back at your wasted life and you don’t see me?
Daddy gave me a name. My dad gave me a name.
Then he walked away. Then he walked away; my dad gave me a name.
I will never be safe; I will never be sane;
I will always be weird inside; I will always be lame.
Daddy gave me a name, and then he walked away.
My dad, he gave me a name, and then he walked away.
My dad gave me a name, and then he walked away. [Click here to watch the video]
And when he walked away, he left a huge wound in my life. A lot of young men have never, ever finished this business with dad. It’s so easy, in the midst of that wound, to either get angry and close the lid on my feelings or pretend this is going to go away. But I want you to know, guys, it doesn’t go away until you deal with it in an appropriate way. Then you can put it to rest so you can go on to live an authentic manhood life. That’s what I mean when I talk about this Father Wound. It is so important in men. ..."
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