Men’s Fraternity, Malaysia

Take a look at this video: Cat's in the Cradle

Robert Lewis shared these in "Session 4, Unpacking" :

  "I see five common wounds in most men today. Let’s go into our symbolic suitcase, and here’s the first one;
The “Absent Father Wound.” Now when I say “absent father” I mean either a dad who wasn’t there altogether,
or a dad who was there but he wasn’t there.
In the 60’s, I used to hear this wound played out on the radio with a song that went like this.

My son turned 10 just the other day.
He said, ‘thanks for the ball, Dad.

C’mon, let’s play. Can you teach me to throw?’

I said, "not today; I’ve got a lot to do."

And he said, ‘well, that’s okay.’

And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon;

Little Boy Blue and the man in the moon;

‘when you comin’ home, Dad? Make it soon.

"I don’t know when, but we’ll get together then, son.

You know we’ll have a good time then. ..."

Now that was the 60’s.
Now, we’re in the 21st Century and the shrill of sons who have this wound has grown harsher, and shriller.
I listen to a band, called ‘Ever Clear’, write their song about fathers and sons and this generation.
I want you to listen to these words:

Father of mine, tell me, where have you been?

Father of mine, take me back to the day when I was still your golden boy

Back before you went away. I remember blue skies, walking the block,

I loved when you held me high. I loved to hear you talk.

You would take me to the movie; you would take me to the beach

You would take me to a place inside that is now so hard to reach.

Father of mine, tell me, where did you go?

You had the world inside your hand, but you did not seem to know.

Father of mine, tell me, what do you see

When you look back at your wasted life and you don’t see me?

Daddy gave me a name. My dad gave me a name.

Then he walked away. Then he walked away; my dad gave me a name.

I will never be safe; I will never be sane;

I will always be weird inside; I will always be lame.

Daddy gave me a name, and then he walked away.

My dad, he gave me a name, and then he walked away.

My dad gave me a name, and then he walked away. [Click here to watch the video]

And when he walked away, he left a huge wound in my life. A lot of young men have never, ever finished this business with dad. It’s so easy, in the midst of that wound, to either get angry and close the lid on my feelings or pretend this is going to go away. But I want you to know, guys, it doesn’t go away until you deal with it in an appropriate way. Then you can put it to rest so you can go on to live an authentic manhood life. That’s what I mean when I talk about this Father Wound. It is so important in men. ..."